Impossibe Thoughts
by TrueLove67
Summary: Set during 7x21, An Alternate ending to the scene in which Damon is trying to get through to Bonnie in the woods. Bonnie realizes she has to make a sacrifice in order to save the ones she loves, in order to save him .. Short one shot !


_**Was cleaning out my computer files and found the start of this story, it was started years ago but I had the urge to finish it. I own none of the characters! Please leave feedback, replies mean the world!**_

When we were standing in those woods, just waiting to see what oblivion would hold for Damon and I, I was scared. Not that daily sense of fear that had come to be a normal emotion in this town, something more. It was paralyzing. But then our hands came together and I realized that no matter what was about to happen, Damon would be there. And I knew I would be okay. Despite all of the heinous acts he had committed in the past, and despite the unrelenting love him and Elena were always bound to share, there was something about him. Something that made him not only the love of Elena's life, but mine as well. Even if it wasn't written in the stars, even if our destines were never meant to become one, my feelings for him would always be there. I knew that if I were to face the unknown with anybody, I would have wanted it to be him. He was the strongest. I knew he would get us through it. And in that moment the fear subsided and I embraced that it would just be another chapter in this crazy life.

I thought transporting different dimensions would be the most unbelievable thing I've experienced, now it sounded almost naïve to even think that way. I mean look at everything that not only me, but seemingly everyone I've had contact with, has gone through. I guess I took it for granted, my life before all this. Even at the beginning stages of developing my powers, I never truly realized how lucky I was. I had magic coursing through me and it didn't come at the expense of anybody else's life. I never appreciated the innocence of it. I mean Stefan and Damon lived centuries having to control their desires so it didn't kill anyone. In their own times they struggled to love Elena because she was too tantalizing. Their love for her could very possibly kill her. That seemed so tragically unfair. Now my body was being hijacked, controlled by the impulse to destroy the ones I cared about most. I couldn't think of anything worse, and I actively tried to fathom how vampires could accept this part of their fate.

We seemed to be tangled in this match for hours, constantly flipping each other into the ground or against the tress, causing destruction all around us. We were both so strong, our determination unwavering. I could feel the desperation to stop somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it was there, but I couldn't access it. It was being drowned out by this intense desire take his life. I couldn't understand it, I couldn't control it. My body was not my own. His breath was heavy on my face as he struggled to free himself from my grasp. I could feel my hands pushing harder into this shoulders, securing him in place. I wanted to let him go, I swear I did. I saw the dagger in my hand, just drop it my mind screamed. But I didn't. Instead I watched as it penetrated through the skin of his shoulder, his mouth opening wide.

Damon gasped, his breath hitching in his throat. He knew the wound wouldn't kill him, he knew he still had a chance to stop this. But he had to act quicker, her momentum was stronger than he initially thought. He hated to see her like this, hated what was happening to her. Of all people, Bonnie didn't deserve this. With a swift motion, Damon propelled Bonnie into the air and away for him. He yanked on the dagger and quickly pulled it from his flesh, wincing as it came out. He barley had a moment to regain his footing before he was back on the ground, Bonnie hovering over him. Her eyes were feverish, her body shaking above him. The dagger was somehow back in her hands, she was so quick. He watched as she raised the spike above her head, his hands coming up in a protective stance. He was losing.

'Bonnie..' Damon breathed her name. 'Know that I forgive you Bonnie, I did this to us. Not you' His words held conviction, he needed her to believe them. It may have been one of the most genuine things he had ever said.

I could feel his words penetrating through me like a knife. I wanted to scream so loudly. How was this happening? Of all the messed up crap we had to deal with, how can you handle wanting to hurt your loved ones. It defied logic. My heart was going to beat out of my chest, I felt like I was tearing apart from the inside out. I could see the pain in his blue eyes, I could see I was the cause of it. And suddenly I could feel myself wrapped in his arms, my legs around his waist. I could smell his cologne while I nuzzled my face in his neck. I could feel my spine tingle as he wrapped his arms around my waist, his laughter filling the pancake filled air. That moment when I returned home was the single best moment in my life. I relished it for so long, it seemed so far away now. But I swear I could still hear his laugher.

'I will not hunt my family. Damon I will not hurt you' I struggled with the words, gasping for breath while it felt as if my chest was being crushed. I was so thankful to hear them aloud, I thought I might be imagining it. My senses were heighten, my emotions were all over the place, an unwanted hatred fighting the hardest to break free. I could feel it coursing through my veins, feel it becoming stronger. It was its own entity and it was angry that I was fighting back. Everything seemed so loud, seemed to be moving without my control. I closed my eyes tightly, I could hear the screams and it took a moment to realize they were coming from me. I focused on that hug, focused on the way his arms felt around me and the delight that I had in coming home to him. Suddenly, there was a lull. A break in the noise, a blanketed silence.

I knew what I had to do. It offered a sense of tranquility, like the swirling lights from the forest, it flooded my senses. It gave me relief. A relief that the people I loved would be safe, a relief that the one I loved the most would have a chance at happiness. A relief that I could finally have a break from these never ending conflicts that seemed to haunt me.

'Damon..' The tears flowed down her cheeks like steady rivers. Everything was building up, I could feel the intensity burning through my skin.

'I will never live in a world where I am destined to harm the ones I love' I gritted the words through my teeth, making more of a proclamation than a statement.

I could feel the grip on my mind unraveling again, I was losing control.

'Find peace, Damon' The words came out slow as my gaze locked with his. My eyes were wide, wild with determination. With one motion, I dug the handcrafted dagger into my gut. I could feel the air leaving my body, my breaths were becoming shallower and the pain seemed to be radiating through every cell I had. I could hear Damon screaming, feel his hands catch me as I began to fall backwards. He draped me over his lap, the dagger falling beside us after he ripped it out of my flesh.

'Why would you do that bonnie?!' His words were frantic as he covered the wound, her blood coating his hands.

'You're a Bennet witch I thought you were supposed to be smarter' His words were sly while he ripped into his wrist and pushed it on top of her mouth. Bonnie struggled to move her head, but continued to dodge his attempts. She could feel his hand tighten in her hair, the desperation to keep her still so he could heal her.

'Damon, no' I was defiant, fighting with the last strength in my body. The pain began to subside while the tears slowed now. Our gazes were locked together, his beautiful blue eyes tangled with my green ones.

'Let me give her back to you' I hated how small my words were. My body shook as I began coughing, struggling for air. I turned my face into his chest, taking a shaky inhale of his scent. Something to take with me.

Damon moved his thumb across her delicate face, erasing her tears, only to replace them with his own. His body shook violently while the sobs escaped from his chest. This was new, something he was not used to.

'Bonnie don't..' He pleaded, but knew his words fell on deaf ears. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her impossibly closer, his tears falling like raindrops while he buried his face into the crook of her neck. He allowed himself to fall apart, for the first time in more than a century he allowed himself to feel the emotions that he always cut off. Maybe because he was tired of fighting. Maybe because this time he lost something he would never get back. In the same way that he was the only one to make a deep enough impact on Bonnie to get through to her, she was the only one that could truly break him.

'I love you, Bonnie..'

 _ **What do you guys think? x0Laura**_


End file.
